Minor accidents

Today, our intrepid hero slipped and fell on the ice. Later, he spilled beer all over his bed. He tripped over the coffee table in a dark room. He also has betrayed his defense mechanisms and injured his pride. Life goes on!

24 and there's so much more

Today marks the 24th year of the author's presence on this blue planet. He remains a very scattered creature, one who is constantly deferring to embarrassingly stylized devil and angel advisers who ceaselessly perch & preach on his shoulders. Earlier in his life he was told by his personal angel to continuously out-pour love and truth and openness should any small opportunity arise. Friends, strangers, lovers, animals, all. The devil was a stubborn, stoic little thing that would demand just the opposite: higher walls, deeper moats, booby traps, sarcasm, egoism, derision. As the days and years fall away, results become slightly more visible. A conclusion one could reach might assert that following the lead of the former adviser often causes a recurring experience similar to shortsightedly locking oneself of the house on a cold, rainy day: Shivering, crestfallen, and impotently hoping for an external reversal of fortune. The latter's advice leads to trials akin to being as a rotted-out fortress under siege: pestilent, malnourished, and eventually mutinous and thus defeated. As the author continues to age and learn, he is finding it harder to discern any ultimate difference between the members of his dual council. Even harder to ascertain is an alternative.

Decemberween

I'm on my couch at my apartment in Worcester, finishing the freezer gin. I am leaving in one month. I don't know if I'll have an apartment, a job, money, or a car when I return. Are we going to Texas? Ohio, NC, Georgia? NY, PA? How will we afford that? Questions that need answering.
It is so cold here right now. Visible is my breath. I am happy for the winter, truly. Somehow the challenge of being comfortable under these circumstances is trying enough to make it feel worth it.
Everything is up in the air. 2010 is nothing but a daunting array of question marks and vague notions. Honestly, something big needs to happen. My trip to Australia feels huge in breadth, but not depth.

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